I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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