Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
