Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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