Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
