i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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