I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
