K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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