If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
