Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
