Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my liver is dry heaving
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
