I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
People in love make me want to vomit
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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