Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
