I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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