my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
