my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
