Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't deserve a penis
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
