singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
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So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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