Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
