Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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