i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
