Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
