No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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