That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
