I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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