he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
