I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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