Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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