if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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