I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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