I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
