you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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