Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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