Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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