My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize