new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
pop tarts are not kleenex
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
