she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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