would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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