Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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