I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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