i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
