Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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