Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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