I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
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I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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