New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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