so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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