Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
