dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
