just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
