it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
