That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
