Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
