we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
