guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
