I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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