: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
