I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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