I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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