so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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