Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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