You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
